Skip to main content

Passed Over

undefined NaN, NaN

𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘁𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝗿𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿.

Early in my career, I started noticing a pattern.

Women who were sharper, more prepared, and more dedicated than anyone else in the room — quietly getting passed over. Not because they failed. Not because they stopped showing up. But because the environment they were in had very quietly, very systematically, begun to work against them.

And the way they responded — the way most high achievers respond — was to try harder. Double down. Work longer hours. Be more professional. Deliver more. Prove more clearly how good they actually were.

And the environment absorbed all of it without giving anything back.

I became obsessed with understanding why.

What I found changed everything I thought I knew about toxic workplaces. It wasn't about the individual women. It wasn't about their talent or their effort or their professionalism. It was about the playbook they were running — a playbook built for environments that reward excellence. Deployed in environments that were running entirely different rules.

The women who were navigating these environments successfully weren't louder. They weren't harder. They weren't playing some political game that felt fake and exhausting.

They had simply learned to see the game that was actually being played — and they had the right tools to play it.

That distinction — between the woman who survives a toxic environment and the woman who transforms her experience of it — is what I have spent the last 25 years studying, documenting, and teaching.

That is why I built Command the Room.

Female executive thinking