We all have an inner critic. Sometimes it whispers (“You’re not ready.”). Sometimes it shouts (“You’ll fail again!”). Over time, these messages become internal narratives that run on autopilot — influencing everything from how we show up at work to who we allow into our lives.

Psychologists call these core beliefs — and they’re often formed before we even reach adulthood. If your early environment was critical or chaotic, you may have learned to expect rejection, betrayal, or failure. The result? Self-sabotage: procrastination, toxic relationships, or staying small when you want to grow.

The Science of Self-CompassionResearch by Dr. Kristin Neff shows that self-compassion isn’t just “being nice to yourself.” It activates the care system in the brain, releasing oxytocin and calming cortisol levels. This shift helps you respond to mistakes with curiosity instead of shame.

Try This Journal Prompt:

Write down a situation where you were hard on yourself. Then answer:•What would I say to a friend who went through this?•What is the kindest, most truthful thing I can tell myself right now?

This is a taste of what we do in my upcoming Red Flag Reset Course — we dismantle self-sabotaging scripts and replace them with beliefs that support the life you want. Make sure you’re on my email list to get first access.